From alt.conspiracy From: kamamer@zot.io.org (karl mamer) Newsgroups: alt.conspiracy,sci.skeptic,alt.alien.visitors Subject: Mars Probe Conspiracy Flow Chart Date: 28 Nov 1996 08:39:44 -0500 Message-ID: <57k4n0$rj@zot.io.org> Are you following the latest Mars mission but can't figure out how each phase of the mission fits into la conspiracy de jour? Well, now you can play along with this handy flow chart: BEGIN CONSPIRACY | DOES GLOBAL SURVEYOR BLOW UP ON LAUNCH PAD? | | NO YES | | | WAS A FLASH OF LIGHT SEEN? | | | | NO YES | | | | CARL SAGAN PLANTED CIA USED LASER GUN TO | BOMB IN FUEL CELL BLOW UP ROCKET | | DOES THIRD STAGE BOOSTER FAIL TO FIRE WHEN IN EARTH ORBIT? | | NO YES | | | WAS SPACE STATION MIR WITHIN LINE OF SIGHT? | | | | NO YES | | | | GREYS USED MICROWAVE KGB/CIA USED ASAT | GUN TO KNOCK MISSILE TO TAKE OUT | OUT BOOSTER BOOSTER | | DOES GLOBAL SURVEYOR "VANISH" ENROUTE TO MARS? | | NO YES | | | | | DID GLOBAL SURVEYOR "VANISH" NEAR EARTH'S MOON? | | | | NO YES | | | | | GREYS USE RAIL GUN BUILT AT MOON BASE | | LEASED FROM TRUMAN IN 1946 TO KNOCK | | OUT GLOBAL SURVEYOR | | | | | DOES HAM RADIO OPERATOR POST ANONYMOUS | MESSAGE ON ALT.CONSPIRACY CLAIMING TO | STILL PICK UP SURVEYOR'S TELEMETRY? | | | | NO YES | | | | GREYS USE "SPORT MODEL" NSA EXPLOITED BACKDOOR | UFO TO CAPTURE SURVEYOR AND ARE RE-DIRECTING | SURVEYOR TO RENDEZVOUS DOES GLOBAL SURVEYOR FAIL TO WITH "COMET" HALE-BOPP. DNA ENTER MARS ORBIT? CODES OF ALL HUMAN BEINGS | | LOADED ON SURVEYOR COMPUTERS NO YES ARE GIVEN TO REPTOIDS SO THEY | | CAN PICK WHICH HUMANS THEY | DID LAST SURVEYOR PHOTOS WANT TO BEGIN EATING WHEN THEY | SHOW STRANGE FLASH NEAR ARRIVE IN ORBIT | MARS' MOON PHOBOS? | | | | NO YES -- NAZIS OCCUPYING LOVE BASE ON | | PHOBOS SHOOT DOWN SURVEYOR WITH | | V29 PROTON MISSILE | | | | | LAST PHOTOS "ACCIDENTALLY MISFILED" | WITH SOVIET SPY SATELLITE PICTURES | OF NEIL ARMSTRONG PLAYING GOLF | IN FLORIDA WHEN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE | ON THE MOON | | DOES GLOBAL SURVEYOR "VANISH" SHORTLY AFTER ARRIVING IN ORBIT? | | NO YES | | | DID SURVEYOR VANISH BEFORE TAKING PHOTOS OF CYDONIA REGION? | | | | NO YES | | | | DO PHOTOS OF CYDONIA SURVEYOR SHOT DOWN BY >---------> CONFIRM FACE IS MADE BY LASER GUN IN MARS "FACE" INTELLIGENT BEINGS? | | NO YES | | | CARL SAGAN FIRED | | PHOTOS FAKED BY STEVEN SPIELBERG (KNOWN JEW, SPREADER OF HOLOCAUST LIE, BANKROLLER OF NIZKOR, AND PAID UFO DISINFORMANT) WERE PRE-LOADED ONTO SURVEYOR BY AGENTS OF MJ12. PUBLIC OPINION TURNS AGAINST UFO BELIEVERS AND THEY ARE ROUNDED UP BY BATF THUGS AND PUT INTO CAMPS. REPTOIDS ARRIVE AND BEGIN TURNING VIEWERS OF THE LEARNING CHANNEL AND PBS IN SOYENT GREEN.